The Sacred Search Gary Thomas | Honest Book Review

January 16, 2021

Money and marriage go hand in hand because if you marry the wrong person, it’s going to be a problem.

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1. Book Points that I learned
– Keep in mind this book is very religious
– But even if you’re not, there is still a lot of knowledge inside
– So I still recommend it

The Points and things I learned:

It’s not about Who you Marry but Why you marry ( several parts )
Hollywood love and Plato:
– The first movie I ever saw from America was Alladin, and every single movie I’ve seen I was a kid theirs also a similar story. Boy meets girls and knows she’s the one, they fall in love, conflict but then they resolve it ( happy ending )
– Now this concept is very old and comes from the story that Plato told about Zeus and how powerful humans were together so he simply them and scattered then ( and whenever we find the other half our should we feel very hole )
– But in reality that fiction obviously and what you feel when you fall in love, is biological and just a bunch of strong chemical reactions going on in your brain. TO the point where you can become addicted to someone

Why is it important you understand:
– Because there is no one person for you and I know that’s not Disney friend but its true
– You ever noticed when you ask someone why do you love him or her, the answers are usually artificial and things you hear in movies
– In reality, finding a person you can spend your life with is intention action:
You are attracted then ( Yes )
They share your values ( Yes )
Same Page on Children, In-laws, Money, religion ( Yes )
Some that’s going to make a good wife, mother, a friend ( and you don’t know any of this usually because you are not asking and discovering you are just obsessing over them usually )

18-month test:
– In business when you want to test results usually you want to give it 18 months ( by that point you have enough proof to tell you if you did a good job or not: if you want to continue or stop )
– But in the first 12 months of finding my now girlfriend, so much happened, I asked her to marry on 6 months of dating and she was crazy enough to say yes ( but the point is in those for 18 months you can’t think clearly, that’s why you want to bring a friend around them too, to see what they about them )
– It’s like those moms with the bad kids, that think that their kids are angels.
– In this book, he recommends giving 12-18 months also of getting to know each other intentionally without complicating with ( SXE)

Marrying someone, hoping you can change than in the marriage ( their this stigma where people think only girls try to change guys, but guys try to change girls also – and its stupid idea
– I’ve seen this a lot not just in relationships but also in friendships
– In friendships when one friend chooses to grow and the other one doesn’t, usually they stop hanging around less and before you know it as just someone that you use to know
– But with relations, you are obsessed with them for other reasons, so even when you see that are not right or that person is not going anywhere: you say I’ll change them or things will change ( usually they don’t, people are who they are and can only change when they want to and are ready to )

Fact is: if it walks like a duck, looks and sounds like a duck, then its probably a turtle. Jk you might want to walk away

Bonus point:
– Don’t marry or date for mercy ( I don’t want to hurt their feelings )
– Don’t be afraid to ask for help with break up




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